Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
