i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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