If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
