kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
