jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
