My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
