Someone shit on the floor
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
