So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
