Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
