I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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