I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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