Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
