I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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