hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
