Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Everclear isn't food dammit
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
