The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just found puke in my bra..
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
