I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
