found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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