I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
