Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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