would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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