True but thats because hes a fetus.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
