I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
