Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
