I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
