In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
