Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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