i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
