i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize