just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
