Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
