oh fat girl friday strikes again...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
