He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Idk if I want to put a bra on
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
