I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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