If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
