I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
