So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
