Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
