yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize