She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
