That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize