Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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