a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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