My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Someone shit on the floor
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
