You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
