? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
