im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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