it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
