CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
