I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
