The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize