I wanna passion pit in your ass
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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