You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize