Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
