every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
