I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
