i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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