And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
