College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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