a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
