pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
i think i just lost a toe
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
