Little spoons don't ask big questions
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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