his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
