Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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