D3 body, D1 cock
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
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