I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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