I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
