He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
