You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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