Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
