"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm passing your future prison.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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